New Relationship Needs to Hear This Advice
Have you ever experienced butterflies at the beginning of a new romantic relationship because you simply don’t want to ruin it? It’s not just you.
According to dating and relationship specialist Andrea Syrtash, “a fresh relationship is full of promise, possibilities, and discovery—not only of our partners but of ourselves and our needs, goals, and desires.” Carmelia Ray, a celebrity matchmaker, concurs that this “honeymoon stage” is a significant time in your life. She says, “It’s a special time to make enduring memories with your partner and a period where many couples feel as if they are falling in love.” But the nerves and anxiety you experience in a new relationship may undoubtedly sap some of the carefree enthusiasm and add needless strain.
Meet the Specialist
Relationship specialist Andrea Syrtash is also the author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing). Pregnantish.com was founded by her, and she serves as its editor in chief.
Carmelia Ray is the principal dating advisor for the WooYou App as well as a celebrity matchmaker, dating expert, and media pundit.
We asked both relationship gurus to provide the most important pieces of new relationship advise they give their clients so they may truly enjoy this phase of getting to know each other in order to make sure you don’t unintentionally destroy your relationship (and spend less time stressing). Long-term partnerships need work, but dating shouldn’t feel like that, as Syrtash puts it.
In light of this, the following are nine considerations to make when dating someone new.
Leave the past behind you
According to Ray, a common error people do when dating someone new is bringing all of their worries, fears, and bad previous memories into their current relationship. She notes that in her more than 26 years of talking to singles, she has learned that people prefer to avoid discussing their partners’ prior relationships on the first and second dates. Keep your thoughts and interactions on the person you’re currently seeing and on getting to know them. Avoid oversharing.
Keep your questions regarding your date’s past experiences to a minimum. Instead of using a rehearsed line of focused questions, try to have an interesting, natural discussion.
Avoid Drawing Comparisons
It’s simple to start comparing your relationship or your SO right away. However, Ray claims that doing so will not benefit you and will only enrage your existing partner. Instead, ponder the following: Are you in the relationship to outdo someone else? Are you seeking attention from others through this relationship? Are you dating this person because you like them, or vice versa?
Observe Deeds More Than Words
Whether someone is unavailable now, it doesn’t matter if they’re planning travels for the future, according to Syrtash. In this situation, you should be careful to read people’s actions rather than taking everything they say at face value. On the other hand, she claims that if your spouse introduces you to their family and friends, there is a good likelihood that they plan to keep you in their lives for a while.
Be Open-Minded, Despite Your Fears
According to Ray, “the idea of being exposed is a daunting prospect for most individuals. She claims that doing so is a risky way to reveal your actual nature. By revealing this side to a new partner, you can strengthen your bond and establish trust. She says that someone who is interested in getting to know you better may find your vulnerability to be a gift.
By sharing a personal story, you can display your vulnerability without feeling overly overwhelmed. Although it may seem extremely straightforward, it’s a terrific starting point for developing an emotional connection.
Never inflate the truth or boast.
According to Ray, boasting is a major turnoff for both men and women. You may be proud of who you are without reciting all of your life’s achievements, and it’s not necessary to feel the need to always wow your spouse, especially if they already like you.
Keep yourself present.
Keep in mind that starting a new relationship is an exciting time full of exploration and curiosity (and a lot is going to be new all at once). Reminding oneself to be present and open will help you release pressure, advises Syrtash. This also applies to being honest to yourself and following your intuition. Even if someone seems ideal on paper, if they turn out to be the wrong fit for you, it doesn’t matter.
Resist the Need to Be Needy
According to Ray, a small amount of jealousy is both cute and healthy. The matchmaker says it’s typical for newly dating couples to spend a lot of their free time with each other and give up some of their usual time with friends and family, but making demands on your partner of their time and restricting them from doing things they were doing before you started dating is a red flag. But refrain from calling, texting, or pleading to see your significant other all the time. because you’ll upset them, which can make them peddle back.
Don’t Miss Out on Family or Friends’ Time
According to Ray, it’s typical for new couples to forgo some of their regular activities and cancel plans with friends in order to spend time with their spouse. Keep in mind that anticipation of your partner’s arrival and establishing some distance both contribute to attraction, advises Ray. Keep yourself active and respect your arrangements with friends as you moderately adapt your schedule. “When you always drop everything to be with your new partner, it may build the assumption that your previous obligations are secondary to person you’re dating.”
The majority of people struggle with the communication tool of listening, according to Ray. Your partner will appreciate and feel heard when you give them your full attention. In addition to demonstrating your interest in their lives, asking questions about who they are and what they’re up to also helps them feel special and distinct.
